It all started when I was 19. Life was, on the surface, going well: I had a good job, studied at a university (not free, but I didn’t pay because I worked there), lived close to work, and had even bought an old car. But the issue? I got into a relationship that turned toxic, and when it ended, I couldn’t find my way out of the mental pit I’d fallen into. It was toxic for both of us, and I was left feeling emotionally stuck. Since we’d met at the university where I worked and studied, I’d end up seeing her almost daily. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and if I managed to, she’d suddenly appear around the corner. I knew there were better ways to deal with a breakup, but stick with me here—this story’s about to show that sometimes, good things do come out of the worst moments.
Working, studying, going out with friends on weekends—none of it brought back my drive. Anxiety crept in, and I found myself avoiding social situations. I felt like a burden to everyone, convinced that I deserved to suffer. My mind felt invaded, each thought a trap in an endless loop of negativity. I’d sit at home watching videos of people who seemed genuinely happy, living life to the fullest. I didn’t get it. How had I spiraled so fast? How did I let myself break down this badly?
This was when I dove into YouTube, binge-watching travel videos. People from all over the world exploring breathtaking places, meeting new cultures—it was freeing just to watch. I’d go on Google Maps Street View and imagine driving down those European streets, speaking different languages, and who knows, maybe even dating someone from another country someday. I started reading self-help books too, which felt like a lifeline out of my mess. I needed that shift in mindset, someone reminding me that my problems were smaller than they felt.
Then one day, I found Vitor Liberato’s YouTube channel, Back To Triangle. He was moving to Australia, and each new video was a spark to my imagination. With drone shots soaring over Gold Coast’s beaches, all I could think about was the freedom he must feel in those moments. My own desire to travel grew stronger. But here’s the thing: I’d never even been on a plane, much less had a passport.
In my family, the closest person who’d traveled abroad was my grandma’s sister’s daughter. In other words, this wasn’t exactly an “easy dream.” But then, through work, I met someone who’d lived abroad, and they started telling me stories about life in Europe. That lit a fire in me—I needed to experience it for myself one day.
I wanted to escape from myself, go somewhere where I didn’t know a soul. At the height of my teenage drama, I felt like I was going through the hardest time of my life—but let’s be real, everything feels intense when you’re a teenager.
I started writing down my dreams on small slips of paper, almost like manifesting them into reality. Over and over, I’d write that I’d leave Brazil and see another part of the world.
I began searching for flights online. First, I checked with travel agencies, but the prices were way beyond my budget. Then I went back to YouTube to learn about finding cheap flights. Google Flights didn’t exist yet, but I found a site called Kayak that helped me find a ticket within my reach. To leave Brazil, you usually need both an outbound and return ticket, but since I didn’t know how long I’d stay, I settled on a 30-day round trip.
At that time, I was also struggling with food—my anxiety was so intense I could barely eat. I didn’t mention it to my grandma to avoid worrying her. I saved money by not going out, skipping meals outside, and avoiding drinks. But I was lucky to have friends who supported me through this rough patch, encouraging me to keep going with my travel plans.
Support from Work Friends
Meanwhile, at work, two colleagues became my biggest supporters. I kept my trip secret from my family, so these friends became my makeshift support system. I’d tell them everything, and even though they’d laugh at my grand plans, they kept encouraging me. One friend had traveled before and shared valuable tips; the other had never left the country but still cheered me on. Having people who believed in me, even if they didn’t fully understand, made all the difference. I couldn’t have found the strength to go it alone.
Chapada dos Veadeiros: A Taste of Freedom
Remember when I mentioned struggling with anxiety? A school friend invited me to stay with him in Chapada dos Veadeiros, thinking it might lift my spirits. It wasn’t too far from where I lived, about 700 kilometers from Goiânia. The moment I arrived, it was like I’d left my troubled self back home. At Chapada, I felt like a new person, staring at a blank page, ready to write anything.
The place was pure magic: waterfalls and landscapes that took my breath away. It was my first experience with a freedom I’d never felt before—alone, with no strings attached.
On one of those days, we hiked for about four hours and ended up at a place called Janela do Paraíso (“Window to Paradise”). Standing there, looking out, I thought, “This is it. I need more moments like this—this is what feeling alive is.” That’s when I realized that my trip to Amsterdam wasn’t just some wild idea—it was a necessity. Chapada dos Veadeiros felt like a rehearsal for what was to come. It showed me that the world had so much more to offer, and that to find it, I had to break free from the beliefs and ties that kept me in a place that, deep down, may not have been meant for me.
After two weeks in that paradise, with the sweet uncertainty of being on the right path (laughs), I decided to buy my tickets.
Confession: you might not believe it, but I bought tickets to Amsterdam simply because it was one of the cheapest destinations without a visa requirement. That’s it—I didn’t have a big plan. I just decided it would work out, that I’d travel somewhere, and Amsterdam won because I could afford the ticket.
For now, that’s it, folks!
Next chapter, I’ll dive into how I bought the ticket, left my job, found a place to stay, and survived in Amsterdam for a few months.
Key Takeaways
- Sometimes the Hardest Breaks Lead to the Biggest Breakthroughs
I wouldn’t be here if not for that tough time. Hard moments can be the start of something bigger, so don’t lose hope. - Dream Big and Don’t Wait for Everything to Make Sense
There will always be reasons not to go after your dreams. Take the leap anyway, even if things don’t make complete sense. - Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Sometimes the people around you see things you don’t. Those two friends at work made a huge difference in my journey. - Write it Down, Speak it Out
There’s power in writing down your goals. Saying it out loud or writing it can make your dreams feel more real. - Embrace Imperfections
You’ll never feel fully prepared, so just go for it. Take the leap, “dá seus pulos” (take your jumps), and trust that things will work out. Even if you fall, you’ll come back stronger.
Adding a little humor to end on a light note: I’m pretty sure that random Google Maps “driving tour” of Europe saved me some cash on therapy!
