It all started when I was 19. Life was, on the surface, going well: I had a good job, studied at a university (not free, but I didn’t pay because I worked there), lived close to work, and had even bought an old car. But the issue? I got into a relationship that turned toxic, and when it ended, I couldn’t find my way out of the mental pit I’d fallen into. It was toxic for both of us, and I was left feeling emotionally stuck.
Since we’d met at the university where I worked and studied, I’d end up seeing her almost daily. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and if I managed to, she’d suddenly appear around the corner. I knew there were better ways to deal with a breakup, but stick with me here—this story’s about to show that sometimes, good things do come out of the worst moments.
Stuck in a Post-Breakup Loop
Working, studying, going out with friends on weekends—none of it brought back my drive. Anxiety crept in, and I found myself avoiding social situations. I felt like a burden to everyone, convinced that I deserved to suffer. My mind felt invaded, each thought a trap in an endless loop of negativity. I’d sit at home watching videos of people who seemed genuinely happy, living life to the fullest. I didn’t get it. How had I spiraled so fast? How did I let myself break down this badly?
Finding an Escape Through YouTube
This was when I dove into YouTube, binge-watching solo travel videos. People from all over the world exploring breathtaking places, meeting new cultures—it was freeing just to watch. I’d go on Google Maps Street View and imagine driving down those European streets, speaking different languages, and who knows, maybe even dating someone from another country someday.
I started reading self-help books too, which felt like a lifeline. I needed that shift in mindset.
Then one day, I found Vitor Liberato’s YouTube channel, Back To Triangle. He was moving to Australia, and each new video was a spark to my imagination. With drone shots soaring over Gold Coast’s beaches, all I could think about was the freedom he must feel. My own desire to travel grew stronger. But here’s the thing: I’d never even been on a plane, much less had a passport.
From Manifesting to Finding a Flight
In my family, the closest person who’d traveled abroad was my grandma’s sister’s daughter. In other words, this wasn’t exactly an “easy dream.” But then, through work, I met someone who’d lived abroad, and they started telling me stories about life in Europe. That lit a fire in me—I needed to experience it for myself.
I wanted to escape from myself, go somewhere where I didn’t know a soul. At the height of my teenage drama, I felt like I was going through the hardest time of my life—but let’s be real, everything feels intense when you’re a teenager.
I started writing down my dreams on small slips of paper, almost like manifesting them into reality. Over and over, I’d write that I’d leave Brazil and see another part of the world.
I began searching for flights online. First, I checked with travel agencies, but the prices were way beyond my budget. Then I went back to YouTube to learn about finding cheap flights. Google Flights didn’t exist yet, but I found a site called Kayak that helped me find a ticket within my reach. To leave Brazil, you usually need both an outbound and return ticket, but since I didn’t know how long I’d stay, I settled on a 30-day round trip.
At that time, I was also struggling with food—my anxiety was so intense I could barely eat. I saved money by not going out and skipping meals. But I was lucky to have friends who supported me through this rough patch, encouraging me to keep going with my travel plans.
My “Secret” Support System
Meanwhile, at work, two colleagues became my biggest supporters. I kept my trip secret from my family, so these friends became my makeshift support system. I’d tell them everything, and even though they’d laugh at my grand plans, they kept encouraging me. Having people who believed in me, even if they didn’t fully understand, made all the difference.
Chapada dos Veadeiros: A Rehearsal for Freedom
Remember when I mentioned struggling with anxiety? A school friend invited me to stay with him in Chapada dos Veadeiros, thinking it might lift my spirits. It wasn’t too far from where I lived, about 700 kilometers from Goiânia. The moment I arrived, it was like I’d left my troubled self back home. At Chapada, I felt like a new person, ready to write anything.
The place was pure magic: waterfalls and landscapes that took my breath away. It was my first experience with a freedom I’d never felt before—alone, with no strings attached.
On one of those days, we hiked for about four hours and ended up at a place called Janela do Paraíso (“Window to Paradise”). Standing there, looking out, I thought, “This is it. I need more moments like this—this is what feeling alive is.”
That’s when I realized that my trip to Amsterdam wasn’t just some wild idea—it was a necessity. Chapada dos Veadeiros felt like a rehearsal for what was to come. It showed me that the world had so much more to offer.
After two weeks in that paradise, I decided to buy my tickets.
Why Amsterdam? (The Answer Isn’t What You Think)
Confession: you might not believe it, but I bought tickets to Amsterdam simply because it was one of the cheapest destinations without a visa requirement. That’s it—I didn’t have a big plan. I just decided it would work out, that I’d travel somewhere, and Amsterdam won because I could afford the ticket.
For now, that’s it, folks!
Next Steps…
Next chapter, I’ll dive into how I bought the ticket, left my job, found a place to stay, and survived in Amsterdam for a few months.
Key Takeaways from This Journey
- Sometimes the Hardest Breaks Lead to the Biggest Breakthroughs I wouldn’t be here if not for that tough time. Hard moments can be the start of something bigger, so don’t lose hope.
- Dream Big and Don’t Wait for Everything to Make Sense There will always be reasons not to go after your dreams. Take the leap anyway, even if things don’t make complete sense.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help Sometimes the people around you see things you don’t. Those two friends at work made a huge difference in my journey.
- Write it Down, Speak it Out There’s power in writing down your goals. Saying it out loud or writing it can make your dreams feel more real.
- Embrace Imperfections You’ll never feel fully prepared, so just go for it. Take the leap, “dá seus pulos” (take your jumps), and trust that things will work out. Even if you fall, you’ll come back stronger.
I’m pretty sure that random Google Maps “driving tour” of Europe saved me some cash on therapy!
